The tragedy of success.

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WHEN SUCCESS KILLS SUBSTANCE

No matter what goals or aspirations you might have, there is one thing certain: There is a price you must pay to get what you want in life. In fact, there is no sidestepping the fact that any type of success demands something from you. It’s simply the way life works. As it is often said: you will not gain something for nothing.

As you make progress along your journey towards your desired outcomes, your pursuits will demand that you make difficult choices about what you will do and about what you won’t do. The goals and objectives you have in mind will not magically manifest in your life. You will need to work hard and potentially make some drastic sacrifices along the way.

I must say that anything you want in your life is essentially unattainable. It’s unattainable if you do not give something up in order to get something back. Giving something up could come in the form of your time, energy, money, relationship or worst, your personal being. You might need to sacrifice one of these things, or maybe a combination of these things in order to get what you want. Considerably, one of the biggest and most profound sacrifices you might undoubtedly need to make along that journey is changing who you are — for whom your “goal” needs you to become. Inarguably, many become blinded by the deceiving notion that they need to transform themselves into “ferocious beasts” in order to scare, devour and topple any competition while being unaware that they are slowly sliding down to a point of losing grip on their substance — the core value defining their humanity.

Having said that, I have one challenge for all of us: Don’t let slip the things you have that are real and substantive in the pursuit of success, most importantly so, in the pursuit of the ephemeral, the prospective, or the offhandedly promised.

This is not to say you should not be willing to set it all aside and go after something bigger or something better. But make sure you do it intelligently, and be aware of what you’re giving up, or might be giving up, when you do so, so you can make the best and most informed decision about which path you must  chose to take.

 

 

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Are you playing the losing game?

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When we were young, we’d run around the house and hurt ourselves by accidentally running into a chair. So our folks would let us play the “B” game or the “blame game” and put the blame on the chair:

“Ouch. That hurt! Why did you get in my way? We were having so much fun until YOU spoiled it all. Who do you think you are? You’re bigger and stronger, and you hurt me. You’re a bully. Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”

And with that, our folks would let us hit the chair to show it who was the boss. “Bad, bad chair!”

For some reason, scolding the chair made it all better. (Of course it’s so much easier to blame the chair than to admit fault.) And we continued playing.

Although you may think this is a kid’s game, some people continue to play the blame game as adults.

“Don’t blame me that I’m out of shape.”
“It’s not my fault that I accumulated all this debt.”
“You’ll probably never trust me again, but…”
“I know I messed up, but…”

I can hear the chorus now, “Bad, bad chair!”

At some point in our lives, when it comes to the “B” game, we all get “A’s”!

You have a choice: You can blame shortcomings on the weather, a bad horoscope, or that it’s a leap year. Or you can get serious. The truth is, when folks deflect responsibility and cast blame, it serves as nothing more than a crutch and a reason to stop trying. Worse yet, people who continually invent excuses why they can’t succeed convince themselves that failure is inevitable. This results in their ultimately losing faith in themselves and their abilities –– and making it a self-fulfilling prophecy. So be careful how you speak to others because you’re probably listening too.

Backed up by so many success stories being told and observed, successful people, on the other hand, don’t blame the world when they fail to achieve something. They accept personal responsibility, learn from their mistakes, and then do something about it. They also know that being unwilling to make the effort is a losing game. In fact, those who say, “I can’t” and “I don’t want to” trigger the same results.

It is important to note — even though you may be making an effort today, things may not be going your way. That’s because you may be paying a price for years of neglect. But that shouldn’t deter you from making the effort now. The truth is, it takes many years to become an overnight success.

The bottom line is, if you want to achieve something in life, get to work. Things don’t happen magically. YOU have to make things happen. So, be positive. Stay focused. And remain determined. If you look into the mirror and don’t like what you see … don’t blame the mirror. Successful people accept responsibility for their destiny; losers play the blame game.

 

© 2017 viewpointsofandrei.com

NOW: The magic behind.

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Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past.

We live in the age of distraction. Yet one of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that your brightest future hinges on your ability to pay attention to the present.

When we’re at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don’t appreciate the living present because we vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from tree to tree. We overthink and our thoughts take over our decisions and actions.

However, living in the moment allows you to be truly grateful for the wonderful things you have in this very moment, no matter if it is health or the fact that you have a lovely family. By living in the moment you are not dependent on the accomplishment of wealth, tangibles or anything else in order to become happy as you are already able to appreciate and love the very moment, which makes you happy. Furthermore, it helps you to realize that the pursuit of material things or needs with the attempt to find fulfillment and happiness will fail and end in a viscous circle of desiring, pursuing and achieving, without reaching the desired destination (happiness). Goals and hopes (for instance the hope to become rich, famous or successful) are not real in the present situation, as they are just thoughts and dreams that do not exist, yet. You cannot feel or experience them and should not rely on them to make you any happier at all, when realized. Even more important: the things you desire won’t make you any happier at all, if you aren’t able to be thankful for what you already have. In fact, you will never experience true happiness and fulfillment by accomplishing the various things labeled as your “personal needs”, as these needs are constantly shifting, as soon as you satisfy one of them.

When living in the moment there will be no questions about what might happen, what could have happened or what will happen. Living in the moment means to accept the past as what it is: a bygone and not changeable experience that will only have an influence on your present life if you allow it to.

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

Thoughts and Quotes (#SuccessMustBeSustained)

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Why do so many people reach success and then fail? One of the big reasons is, we think success is a one-way street. So we do everything that leads up to success. But when we get there, we figure we’ve made it, we sit back in our comfort zone, and we actually stop doing everything that made us successful. And it doesn’t take long before we realize that we’re going downhill.

In most things in life, success is a continuous journey, and must be sustained.

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

Play the hands you’re dealt.

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To start, let me just tell you that I am not a great poker player. I know the basics of which hand are good because I played simple card games as a kid but beyond that, I’m clueless.

Basically, (guessing I’m right) in a poker tournament having great cards increases the chances of someone winning the hand  but really doesn’t guarantee  them victory. Having a less than desirable hand doesn’t mean  you automatically lose either. There are other factors that go into winning.

You have to play the hand you’re dealt.

Unfortunately, you don’t get to trade cards with anyone else or pay extra to upgrade your hand. The cards you get are the cards you play. Each of us is dealt a hand when we come into the world. Some will have every advantage: happy family life, good genetics, a safe home, etc. They have been dealt a great hand. Others may be born into poverty, a broken family, child abuse, etc. They have been dealt a little tougher hand.

The important point to remember is that you cannot change the hand you’re dealt. You don’t decide what circumstances you are born into and it does no good to complain about them or expect that they will determine your success. Many people think that being born into money or prestige will guarantee their happiness. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Others will use their hard circumstances as an excuse for why they don’t succeed. They take a look at the hand they were dealt and fold immediately.

The hand you were dealt cannot be changed, but the way you play it can.

Like I said earlier, it is not the person with the best hand that always wins. I suppose that is one of the exciting aspects of poker. A great poker player can “defy” the hand he is dealt and, if he acts confidently, can get the other players to fold.

Some of the most successful people I have ever met were people who had been dealt some bad cards in their lifetime. Real bad cards. Cards that would have made me probably fold and give up. But they were able to take those cards and use them to put together a victory. They didn’t give up when others thought their hand was a sure lose. They found ways to use those cards for their benefit and growth. They learned from them and became proud of their hand. They owned it and ended up as winners.

“We are all dealt a hand and we have to decide how to play it.” – Voltaire

I have a lot of trials and hardships in life. Some times they came pouring in like rain. I know that I’ve been dealt some tough cards from time to time. Since I can’t change those cards, how am I going to play them? Am I going to fold or proceed in a timid manner? Am I going to accept them and still move forward towards my goals? Will I blame my cards for my misfortunes?

Every time, the answers are all up to me. And to you, too.

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com