CONTRARY TO POPULAR NOTIONS: My Personal Views on Widely-accepted Relationship “TRUTHS”

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FOREWORD: This is the second installment of my aim to share my personal views on some areas pertaining to Love. Should you happen to like this post after reading it, you may also would want to read later on about my initial post published here seven days ago entitled, “Love Isn’t Always the Answer”.  Further, the views and opinions expressed here are all personal and non-assertive or indicative in any way. Furthermore, I tried to keep my views simple as possible despite the complexities of the “relationship truths” presented herein. Be that as it may, I wish you good and happy reading!

Let’s begin…

Love conquers all.

To put it simply, love does NOT conquer all. All is a lot. It’s literally everything. To say that love conquers all is hyperbolic and misleading. It’s also a dangerous belief to hold onto because it engenders a kind of hopeful laziness. People who cling to the notion that everything will work out as long as they love their significant other tend to overlook the reality that maintaining a strong, loving relationship takes a lot of hard work. You can’t just count on your love to shield you from all the ups and downs you’ll face as a couple.

To say that love conquers all is hyperbolic and misleading.

All you need is love.

To state the obvious, you definitely need food, shelter, oxygen and water — all requirements of living and breathing that are not love. Beyond that, you also probably need some sense of personal fulfillment outside of your romantic relationship. Maybe your career brings you happiness, or you’re passionate about a certain hobby. Whatever the case, it’s wise not to rely entirely on love to reach inner peace. You’re way too complex to need just one thing.

True love is unconditional.

Nope. Sorry. Some couples fall madly in love and then, unexpectedly, fall out of love. When people separate, it isn’t because the love that once existed between them wasn’t true. A breakup doesn’t render a former love suddenly meaningless, but it does signify that it was conditional on some factors that happened to shift — a phenomenon we’re all susceptible to simply because so many things are beyond our control. True love is definitely conditional — on timing, careers, health, desires, sudden changes and so much more.

When it’s right, you’ll know it.

You actually might have no idea you’ve hit the romantic jackpot on your first, second, third or one-hundredth date. Yes, some couples fall in love at first sight. But others aren’t as quick to figure things out, and that’s okay. Love that grows over time isn’t any less real or worthy of note than the kind that sprouts between two people within seconds of meeting. Don’t expect to know in your gut that something’s right from the start. If you rule out every person you don’t feel a spark with automatically, you’ll end up dismissing some good candidates. Sometimes, you have to give things time. Love can blossom when you least expect it to and you might not know it when you see it.

With the right person, everything will be easy.

It’s never easy. Actually, it’s pretty easy in the way beginning, when you’re so love drunk that you let things slide and all you want to do is stare at each other with your googly eyes and make passionate love. But let’s get real. That lustful stage doesn’t last for anyone. There are many wonderful things to look forward to once the passion-blindness fades — comfort, for instance, and a bottomless reserve of inside jokes and treasured memories — but staying together isn’t easy. The right relationship will be worth the effort you have to put into it. Just don’t expect it to be a breeze, no matter how obsessed with each other you are.

The right relationship will be worth the effort you have to put into it.

Never settle for anyone other than “the one.”

Especially for the ladies, please, I beg of you: settle! Fate isn’t a matchmaker, so don’t count on it to guide you towards that one special person. There are a lot of people you’re capable of building a life with. You just have to find one of those people. But don’t expect any of them to be perfectly suited to you. Plan to settle in some ways — for someone slightly less wealthy or handsome or flexible or handy around the house than you’d hoped for. There’s nothing shameful about adjusting your expectations to align with reality, but there is something kind of sad about a person who waits around for a fairytale ending that isn’t scripted.

Timing is everything.

Timing is definitely something, but it isn’t everything. Because when it comes to love, nothing is everything. The path each couple takes is informed by countless competing factors. Every togetherness is a complex narrative and while some might be marked by a major theme, such as timing, there are always critical subplots and unprecedented twists to consider too.

People don’t change.

They do! They definitely do! This can work out for the better of your relationship, or it can be your relationship’s undoing. Regardless, people definitely change over the years, and if you can’t find a way to evolve together, it’s probably advisable to go your separate ways.

True love is all that matters.

Let’s not be ridiculous. There is so much else in life that matters. So many world issues have absolutely nothing to do with love. However much you hate politics or sports or mathematics, those things matter. The drudgery of day-to-day domestic life matters, too. Basically, everything matters, including love.

P.S.: That would be all for now. If you have any thoughts about the notions presented, please feel free to express them in the comments below.

Photo credits: Google photos/teamsquatchinusa.com

 

9 thoughts on “CONTRARY TO POPULAR NOTIONS: My Personal Views on Widely-accepted Relationship “TRUTHS”

  1. So, so relevant in today’s time and age Andrei…you’ve clarified every myth on love. These kind of discussions are what they should have in schools and colleges where the myths exist. “Love can grow over time”. So true. The only point I am a little doubtful about is ” people change”. People do change over time…I agree but the do not change from the basic mould and its best children are taught that so that they dont take decisions on love hoping the other person will change. Just something I was telling my girls’ yesterday😊. Good to read your well thought out article and welcome back. Seems like a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Smitha! My apologies for the long overdue reply. Been super caught up with work lately that I haven’t had the luxury of time to blog or to at least reply to comments on my posts.

      You’re absolutely right in saying that while people do change over time there are many who do not lose their core self/values, especially those that are deeply ingrained in their souls growing up.

      Our role as parents is to inculcate into our children those values that will make them better persons amidst the possible “changes” life may bring to their circumstance, being or their own person as they grow up until when they also are parents themselves.

      I’m so glad to hear your thoughts on this particular post 🙂 Miss your words.
      See you around.

      P.S. I’ll try to catch up with your posts 🙂

      Like

  2. Just what every love-drugged Valentine needs – a good dose of practical advice, Andrei. I can totally and completely relate to all of these. Love takes a million shades at different stages and ages. Love transcends to communicating with a mere look rather than being drowned in expressions of love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy to hear that you can relate with the post Pranitha ☺ indeed love takes a milliob shades at different stages and ages. Nicely-put 😊
      My apologies for the late reply. I’ve been off the grid lately.
      See you around

      Like

  3. I agree with everything thing you said my friend. Love is just a part, life is so much more than that. And I can’t tell you how happy it made me to read that you have someone who you can walk hand in hand through life. Yes, being happy is important.
    Take care and have a great week ahead☺️

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I can write a book as a comment here but I’m not going to get carried away😂
    What a delightful article, my friend and just like almost every time, I have a got several things to ponder over through this post.
    I agree with on a lot of things but I would say that having a person truly invested in you and you doing the same, kind of takes of away the stress from even the most tragic situations like at the back of your head, you stay assured that there is one person you can run back to after a long day, look at their smile and listen to the assuring words and it’s better.
    But who am I kidding, that’s a perfect fiction right there! Even as married couples, people don’t do that much I have heard😂 So being single probably is the best thing! You’ll rely on yourself for everything including your happiness!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi TW!

      You’re right in saying that it’s truly an amazing and comforting feeling to have someone to walk hand in hand with through life. That’s why many strive to find that special someone ☺ I’m grateful to be one of those lucky ones who already found their partner in love and in life 😃 But you may likewise agree with me when I say that life will not just revolve around two “lovebirds” and the love that they have for each other. There’s so much more to life than just love.

      If you’re happy being single at moment that’s great. What’s important is that you’re happy and resolved with what you have and where you’re at in life. Being single is awesome so is finding that special someone and settling in 😉

      Like I said, just enjoy life at the moment. Let things fall where they might.

      Thank you for dropping by and for sharing your thoughts! ☺

      Liked by 1 person

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