Stop Trying, Just Be

 

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Have you ever seen someone try to dance ballet who is not a ballet dancer, or heard someone trying to sing opera without any training? It would make you laugh, no?

Have you ever experienced an uncomfortable discussion with someone who is trying very hard to be nice? You can tell that this person is working hard to be polite but you can tell that it is not genuine. It is as if the person has a mask on their face and is hiding their true nature.

It is similarly awkward when a person you are speaking with tries to impress you with how important he is. You feel doubtful and wonder if they are trying to sell you something that may not be true. Are they merely exaggerating, or are they lying to you?

“Trying to be” means you are working on doing something that does not come naturally to you. It is not you.

Please do not try. If you are angry, be angry. Do not try to be angry. If you are depressed, let yourself be depressed. Do not try to look depressed to get attention. Just be, whatever it is.

When I find people who are genuine, I cannot be offended by them. They are what they are, and I find it refreshing to be with someone who does not try to be but is.

You know where you stand with this kind of person. What you see is what you get. You do not have to have multiple thoughts in your mind as you interact with a genuine person. One of the most difficult parts of interacting with someone who seems disingenuous is that one part of your mind is listening to what they say while another part of your mind is screening the information because you do not trust what you hear or see. It is exhausting if it is prolonged.

It is not always easy to be genuine. In certain situations, it is easier to cover our faces and souls with a mask and pretend to be what we are not.

To be genuine means to have no fear. To be confident enough in one’s own identity to withstand criticism. It’s not easy, but surely productive and beneficial to one’s self.

 

– just sharing a thought…

16 thoughts on “Stop Trying, Just Be

  1. Hey, Andrei.

    I have to warn you to brace yourself for a few notifs from me. I have peanut butter and bread on hand, and I’m ready to catch up on a few of your blog posts. Hahaha! ❤

    I couldn't agree more on your statement "I find it refreshing to be with someone who does not try to be but is." I feel the same way.

    Although I'm guilty of having a facade sometimes, but that's got to do more with my emotional issues that I don't want to bother others with. It's a work in progress. I'm working on just being. Whatever it could be.

    This post is very enlightening. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Liz!

      I just loved you for that!
      Not that you agree with my views (because that I know is a given, knowing that you can resonate with almost all that I’ve been through) but that you really took time to settle and brows through my site. The thought alone (less the comments) already warmed my heart.

      We all are a work in progress. I wish and pray from the bottom of my heart that you will someday soon succeed on whatever your working on with yourself.

      Thank you my little sister. Be easy on that sandwich 💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha! Thanks. So do I consider you my big bro now? Kuya?

        I had to restrain myself to be honest. I didn’t want to flood your blog with so many comments all at once. Maybe next time. 😀

        Your writings are gold and definitely deserve to be given undivided attention (not counting the food I’m chomping on).

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Please consider me your Kuya from now on 😊 It would be an honor.

          I’m elated that such a prolific blogger as yourself would have such high notions for my blogs. I’m truly grateful.

          Hope to see you around more often.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I like how you’ve said ” when people are trying to be, you never know where you really stand”. I find it so much easier to be with genuine people. People who are not open make me uncomfortable. I’d rather be around people with whom I can say what I please without thinking too much. Life’s so much more simpler being an open book. Your post reemphasized my belief.Thank you so much. I have been made to feel guilty by some colleagues, friends and family, of being an open book. Thanks to your post, I feel so much better.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so happy you can resonate with the post Smitha ☺ I was always told growing up to be true to myself. It’s important, especially during these times of “virtual relationships” to be genuine in our dealings and appearances with others. So long as we’re not violating any moral standards or core values, it’s always liberating to be yourself and live by your standards.

      Thank you for sharing your views on the subject. I am grateful of your openness ☺💜

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Its always my pleasure to share a bit of my learnings and convictions to other people. Thank you for sharing your appreciation, Tajwar. I’m glad to hear again from you ☺ Hope you’re doing well.

      Like

  3. It is a lovely thought, Andrei. It is so easy and less risky to have that mask on. Ready. Steady. Pretend.
    It takes a lot of effort and sincerity to be oneself; to be at ease with the true emotions you feel. But pretense can never become genuine, try as they might and we will be left with half a mind screening and the other half listening – like you rightly point out.
    Another factor is our society is also conditioned to encourage those masked humans, those who can pretend and pretend well – complete with that plastic smile and all. The genuine ones are just branded arrogant and immature. I speak from experience. What do you think, Andrei?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I certainly agree with you in saying that society seemingly encourages people to put their masks on in the guise of being polite and socially – correct; and those who try their best to be true and genuine to themselves and others are viewed as absurds and freaks.
      At the end of the day, when you try to play back everything that happened within your day, you will certainly have that haunting, biting feeling when you realize that you haven’t been truthful in your words or have been somewhat deceptive in the manner you’ve acted in front of other people, sure enough, that would be a bit cold to deal with inside.
      Moving on, it’s truly a joy to hear your view on the subject Pranitha. And for all its worth, we do share the same experience 😉

      Like

  4. Sometimes it is difficult to be just me, Andrei. There have been times when I have been guilty of putting up a polite face and carrying on the conversation at some gathering where I absolutely didn’t want to be.
    Having said that, at home I am just me 24/7. My family members can read me like an open book 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. We are all social/political species trying to maintain that so called “diplomatic relations” within a society, Radhika. And honestly we can’t ‘just be us’ in all circumstances, that wouldn’t be ideally good. However, I strongly believe we must within our circle of friends and loved ones. We all deserve the real ‘us’ from each other, would you agree?
      Thank you for generously sharing your thoughts always. I’m glad to hear them 🙂

      Like

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