Stop Trying, Just Be


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Have you ever seen someone try to dance ballet who is not a ballet dancer, or heard someone trying to sing opera without any training? It would make you laugh, no?

Have you ever experienced an uncomfortable discussion with someone who is trying very hard to be nice? You can tell that this person is working hard to be polite but you can tell that it is not genuine. It is as if the person has a mask on their face and is hiding their true nature.

It is similarly awkward when a person you are speaking with tries to impress you with how important he is. You feel doubtful and wonder if they are trying to sell you something that may not be true. Are they merely exaggerating, or are they lying to you?

“Trying to be” means you are working on doing something that does not come naturally to you. It is not you.

Please do not try. If you are angry, be angry. Do not try to be angry. If you are depressed, let yourself be depressed. Do not try to look depressed to get attention. Just be, whatever it is.

When I find people who are genuine, I cannot be offended by them. They are what they are, and I find it refreshing to be with someone who does not try to be but is.

You know where you stand with this kind of person. What you see is what you get. You do not have to have multiple thoughts in your mind as you interact with a genuine person. One of the most difficult parts of interacting with someone who seems disingenuous is that one part of your mind is listening to what they say while another part of your mind is screening the information because you do not trust what you hear or see. It is exhausting if it is prolonged.

It is not always easy to be genuine. In certain situations, it is easier to cover our faces and souls with a mask and pretend to be what we are not.

To be genuine means to have no fear. To be confident enough in one’s own identity to withstand criticism. It’s not easy, but surely productive and beneficial to one’s self.


– just sharing a thought…

7 thoughts on “Stop Trying, Just Be

    1. Its always my pleasure to share a bit of my learnings and convictions to other people. Thank you for sharing your appreciation, Tajwar. I’m glad to hear again from you ☺ Hope you’re doing well.


  1. It is a lovely thought, Andrei. It is so easy and less risky to have that mask on. Ready. Steady. Pretend.
    It takes a lot of effort and sincerity to be oneself; to be at ease with the true emotions you feel. But pretense can never become genuine, try as they might and we will be left with half a mind screening and the other half listening – like you rightly point out.
    Another factor is our society is also conditioned to encourage those masked humans, those who can pretend and pretend well – complete with that plastic smile and all. The genuine ones are just branded arrogant and immature. I speak from experience. What do you think, Andrei?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I certainly agree with you in saying that society seemingly encourages people to put their masks on in the guise of being polite and socially – correct; and those who try their best to be true and genuine to themselves and others are viewed as absurds and freaks.
      At the end of the day, when you try to play back everything that happened within your day, you will certainly have that haunting, biting feeling when you realize that you haven’t been truthful in your words or have been somewhat deceptive in the manner you’ve acted in front of other people, sure enough, that would be a bit cold to deal with inside.
      Moving on, it’s truly a joy to hear your view on the subject Pranitha. And for all its worth, we do share the same experience 😉


  2. Sometimes it is difficult to be just me, Andrei. There have been times when I have been guilty of putting up a polite face and carrying on the conversation at some gathering where I absolutely didn’t want to be.
    Having said that, at home I am just me 24/7. My family members can read me like an open book 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. We are all social/political species trying to maintain that so called “diplomatic relations” within a society, Radhika. And honestly we can’t ‘just be us’ in all circumstances, that wouldn’t be ideally good. However, I strongly believe we must within our circle of friends and loved ones. We all deserve the real ‘us’ from each other, would you agree?
      Thank you for generously sharing your thoughts always. I’m glad to hear them 🙂


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